


A Book Report on Belinda Blinked: Book 1

by threadofgrace



Category: Belinda Blinked, My Dad Wrote A Porno
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 09:45:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8707528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threadofgrace/pseuds/threadofgrace
Summary: By Maisie Blumenthal, Age 9





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Toft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toft/gifts).



A Book Report on Belinda Blinked: Book 1  
by Maisy Blumenthal, age 9  
4th Grade  
Mrs. Johnson's Class

For our book report, you said that we should write about a book with a strong female character. For my book report, I am writing about Belinda Blinked: Book 1. She is a very strong female character and I learned a lot from Belinda. Also, my last name is Blumenthal and her last name is Blumenthal, so maybe Belinda is my relative because my dad says his family used to live in England.

Belinda Blumenthal is a very good businesswoman. She is also from England. She works for a company named Steeles Pots and Pans and she sells lots of pots and pans to people in England and also in other countries. She has friends at work named Bella and Giselle. I think there is also another friend named Donna, but I was really confused about that. They all go to a party where Belinda meets a lot of different men in a maze and makes business deals with them by having sex. She gets very dirty. A man named Peter Rouse also uses mud to draw things on her. I also like to draw a lot but usually I get yelled at when I draw on another person. I think Belinda liked it though.

After that, Belinda gets clean and meets a Duchess. Then she has sex with the Duchess. Then she takes the Duchess's clothes, which was not very nice. Then she goes to a hotel and has sex with other men, including a Youngish Man. (I want to know if Youngish is like being Jewish???) And then Belinda goes back to the Duchess and has sex with her again and the Duchess wants to tell her something, but she does not. And that is the end of the book.

I liked this book because I learned a lot about sex and we do not learn about sex in school until we are in 6th grade, which is two years away. I learned that there are many different ways to have sex, like in a maze and where someone puts mud on you. I learned that a cervix is a part of a lady's body and that you can hurt it during sex if you aren't careful. I also learned what the word rivet means.

Another reason I liked this book is because Belinda works in sales and my mom works in sales. She works in New York City selling something called mortgaged backed securities which my dad says is a scam to screw over the little guys on behalf of her corrupt corporate masters and that I should go ahead and put exactly that my book report as a direct quote from him if I wanted to. My mom and dad divorced 4 years ago and my dad lives in Tampa with his girlfriend Sherri. Sherri is very nice and she and my dad helped me to write this book report. Sherri says that this is a good book for me, because it is important for young girls to read about ladies who are in touch with something called their feminine power.

I told my mom all about Belinda Blinked and I asked her if Belinda's job is like what she does at her work. Her face got very red and then she said that Sherri is a crazy new age hippie with no sense of boundaries who is slowly dragging my father down with her and that she was going to be having separate conversations with my dad, Sherri, the custody court judge, and my teacher, in that order. Then she went to drink a glass of wine and asked how young is too young to start reading Germaine Greer? But I don't think she was talking to me when she said that though.

Even though Belinda and my mom both drink a lot of alcohol, my mom drinks a lot of wine, so that's also how I know she is not like Belinda because Belinda mostly drinks something called Gin and Tonics.

In conclusion, Belinda is a strong female character who is very good at having sex and who is also very good at business. I wish that Belinda was my sister in real life, because I have always wanted a sister who could teach me things and my mom works a lot. When I grow up I know I will be a good businesswoman like my mom and like Belinda. Also I told my mom that I want to try a pomegranate because they sound like a very good fruit but she told me I will have to wait because they are not in season right now.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Well, my original intention had been to write a mock critical theory essay, per your prompt.  
> And then, lord help me, this came out. I'm so, so sorry.
> 
> Thank you to Apricot for doing a lovely job Beta'ing and also for convincing me that this was not too ridiculous to post.


End file.
